I can only imagine.

 This is going to be another prayer post. I do want to check-in. I have some more good news to share. Not big stuff, just another milestone completed. I am proud of myself for what I am doing. Today, I was challenged to go outside of my comfort zone get on the very crowded bus, and get some more work done. I am proud of myself. I had to go and pick up my keys from public storage and I did. It was somewhere new that I had never been to yet and I was so happy to have been in a place to go and just do it. I didn't talk myself out of it. I just went ahead and got it done. I am starting to get out of my head and be present with just moving. Not as much hesitation and overthinking. Just planning and then becoming flexible with having to make adjustments to whatever the initial plan was.  I am learning that whatever the initial plan was, we do not have to stay stuck on it. Things are going to happen. The more prepared I am to accept those changes, the better. Sometimes we can our own biggest critic. Always telling ourselves how bad we are doing. Being overly harsh and analytical, when we don't need to be. Whatever is on the list, we just make an effort to complete it and then we do our best to move on. That is it. I am not saying that we can't be critical...But don't be abrasive to your own self. Tearing down yourself...For what? To say that we punished ourselves and we deserved it? No more. Its time to usher in the gentle season. Be accountable, but also gentle and honest. Yes I am sensitive and I hurt my own feelings all the time. 

That doesn't make it good or normal for me to be doing that regularly. I need to make habits out of doing more than just that. Also appreciating and celebrating myself like I am now by writing down the things that I feel I am being successful at. 

Well I still have some more things that I need to attend to, so I will say my prayer and end it there. I hope you guys are having a great start to April, and that you are giving yourself the patience that you wish others would have for you as well. We are not perfect, but our efforts make us honorable in our pursuit of purpose. Lets be a little more patient with ourselves. We need it. 

Lord Jesus, 

I am just taking the time to say thankyou for clearing the fog out of my head. I have been feeling so burned out for the last two quarters and I have paid for it in grades, however, that is not the end of the story. I am sitting here in a new quarter and I am already feeling more like me again. I am not defeated in what I am going through, and I am feeling more capable than I did in fall. I always do better the second time around. So , I am encouraged by that. I know that I have some work in front of me and that it is going to challenge me . God help me to be ready and move. Move this body, this mind, and whatever else you have designed for me. In jesus name. Amen. 

PS: I am making a resolve to leave the apartment more for my mental health to not be at the desk so much. I need to switch it up. I am getting easily depressed staying in that room so much. I don't know how people can do it all day everyday. I am dying slowly by doing that. I need to be outside more. Lol..Well we have work to do, jog/walk, and recovery group today. Gotta get a move on if I am going to be on time.