I am changing!

 Everyday won't be perfect, but every day I am making a conscious choice to take a step towards better. 

Today was a breakthrough day. I mean, it was great on so many levels. I woke up and was able to make it to class. Which I need to catch up on and do some work in, however. It was after class that really did something special. I made it back to the room and saw that my roommate was still sleeping and so I made a choice that I never thought in a million years that I would make. I had already walked to campus and back. That rounds up to about 50 minutes of walking. But I knew that I still had some energy to burn. So I went for a walk/jog and yall...I was sooo happy that I did that. Immediately after a walk to campus. I just dropped off my stuff and headed out the door. I didn't come up with any excuses, I just went ahead and did the work. And that did something special for me. And when I came back, I started noticing things. I looked at my arms and noticed that they were getting smaller. I noticed that my legs are positioned a little straigther and are getting smaller. I noticed that my mood is better and that I am really doing okay. I was sick toward the end of last week and the start of this week. I had ate pretty bad for two days...But I didn't binge. I didn't overdo it. It was one meal. And that was it, we moved on. We didn't beat ourselves up and complain about how we always do things like this.. We... just. got. up. 

Yall that was so empowering to me that I was able to make the most of this week and get back up. I missed my recovery program and immediately felt the effects of not being there. I need to go back and get stay. I am glad that there are times in the journey where things God is doing makes sense. I am glad that I have a moment to reflect and think about my choices.. the good and bad and that I was able to recover. Not sit and let feelings fester and grow into inactivity and negative thoughts that lead to more negative behaviors. I allowed myself to be sick, and then when we felt better, we got back on track and that is that. I am glad that I have found a stride. And I pray that I can keep my encouragement and always look to you Lord as my North star that I can always look up and be pointed in the right direction. God I know we have a journey ahead... But now I look forward to it, instead of fearing it.