Prayer for Change and the commitment to CHANGE DAILY!

 I want to but I will not order door dash. I want to but I will not order doordash. I want to but I will not order door dash I want to but I will not order door dash 

It takes discipline to get to where I want to be. I want to be in a healthier place, so I need to tell myself no and get myself together. There is no other way to go about doing the things that I need to do. I want to be more efficient, and I want to know myself in a healthier body. I want to know myself when my legs don't rub together. I want to look in the mirror and see my face when it isn't chubby with excess fat. I want to put on a dress that I feel fabulous in and I want to experience me when I am not self-conscious about my rolls and stomach getting in the way. I want to experience when I can fit inside a chair and not have to feel squished and out of breath going up a flight of stairs. help me to stay focused and disciplined. It doesn't matter what I feel, I can get to where I want by telling myself no and being consistent in my eating habits. I need to quietly eat right and exercise. I don't need to announce it to anyone. I just needed to do this for real with me and God. 

God, 

I give my body back to you. I want to apologize for the wrongs that I have done to this body. I have not treated it with the respect that it deserves. I have defiled my temple. Treated it like a trash can. And by doing that, allowed others to treat it like one as well. God, I know that there are people alive today who wish that they could go back to when they were my size. They would have changed their habits and did what they were supposed to do. But I look and see people that have gotten big in their life and died, developed high blood pressure, diabetes, and even cancer. God, I know that I am not special. I am not the exception to the rule. If I continue to eat crazy, I can and will develop more health issues, that can shorten my life span. I have made food an idol for too long. I want to place food in its proper place. I want to use food as tool to fuel my body.  Not as the emotional placeholder where you should have been this whole time. I should have more respect for you and what you have done in my life, but life came with challenges, and through those challenges I decided to run away and seek comfort. I developed some bad habits as a child that even now at 28, I am struggling with. And although it is not that child's fault that I developed an unhealthy attachment, it is up to me to make sure that I do not carry this debilitating habit any further. God, we are embarking on a journey that has taken 30 years to really understand. Help me to be real with myself. No more denial, no more running away from things. Help me to face it head-on. I can and I will do better for myself. I can get this weight off and get to a healthier lifestyle. I am willing to sacrifice it all for you lord. Help me to suffer and accept that this suffering is NECESSARY for the place that I want to be in. On the days that i get discouraged, help me to run to you and my routine. I want this for real this time God. I pray you are glorified through this process. In Jesus name, AMEN.