OCTOBER IS HERE

 Well....

So much has happened in such a short amount of time and I want to be very transparent about what is going on these days..

In short. I am miserable. I am unhappy. My living situation is terrible. I am in a room with a weed smoker and thief who really has some issues with her health But her lifestyle is crazyyyy!!!

I think this girl is selling weed at this point and has some bad habits. All in all, WORST ROOMATE YET. Nikki and I have started the process of trying to be reassigned to another living situation and over the past two weeks this process has taught me alot. 

You have to advocate for yourself! No one else is going to look out for you out here. No one knows me. I am a 30-year-old living in a situation that is crazzyyyy. In my last year. Im supposed to be graduating and moving on with life and here I am feeling miserable about where I am in life and I want more for myself. I

Anyways, we have just received an email telling us of a vacancy that is open in Santa Ynez. but there is a 57%  matching rate. That is an F...very low. Yes it is a little over half, but what is killing me is not knowing what it is we are matching up with, and what WE ARE NOT MATCHING UP WITH. I don't know. Something is just very off and I don't know what I should do. Part of me wants to move, and take the risk. The other part of me is WORRIED ABOUT THE 43% that we didn't match up with. San Joaquin is a higher matching rate, and I think that is the move. But my roomate wants to stay in Santa Ynez. I don't want to go from bad to worse...So there is that. 

Then I could move in with Jessica. Into a double, but then there are some major tradeoffs with that. I am concerned about the snoring, guests coming over and cleanling issues. I don't want us to argue. I like Jessica, but she has her moments. Just like I do... I am not perfect in the least, and I am sure that I ahve some issues that people have to put up with. At the same time. I dont want to go from bad to worse...I want to be optimistic, but I am unsure how all this is going to go. 

I am stressed out and I want the bottom bunk of a triple bed situation. I just want to be happy all in all. 

TTYL. for an update. I don't want to stay, but I dont want to walk into a worse situation. This is a risk for sure, because I don't know what to do. If you are reading this, please pray for me. Going to talk to God about it.